Another Crisis Averted!

Ok, So, I was out with my steady date boy on Friday night, right? I had plans to see new date boy on Saturday night, for dinner and music documentaries at his house. I love music documentaries.

Saturday afternoon he calls and leaves a msg to say hi. Later, he sends a text saying, "harumpf." Then, at 5 pm, he leaves me this pissed off message asking if we are still meeting and telling me to call him if no, so he can make other plans, "or whatever." He said "whatever" about three times.

I was so irritated by the tone, the expectation that I should be available to him before our date and his demands, that I sent him a text saying, "I am having my day, ------, if you want to make other plans for the evening, I understand. I heard nothing for the rest of the night.

This afternoon, he sends me a text saying, "ouch, my heart hurts Iris. No fair..." I sent one back saying that I am ready to talk if he wants. He writes back, "talk about what, Iris? It is pretty obvious you're in deep with your married fellow. I just wish you would've been honest with me from the start." (I actually was honest or he wouldn't know about the "married fellow.")

Then he texts, "joker." I always call him a joker...

I continue to tell him that I am open to talk.

Then he says, "you stood me up Iris; just when I was falling in love with you."

OMG

I continued to tell him that I was open to talk.

Again, I asked if we could talk. I could'nt believe the craziness. I hadn't gotten the chance to stand him up - we weren't supposed to meet until around 7 or so...In love with me? What??? We've gone out for about two months. Ladies, I know I am old-fashioned, but I am not in close to being in love with him - I don't feel like I know him yet.

He finally called and there was all kinds of scratchy movement on the phone and he sounded slurry. FOUR TIMES, he called and couldn't manage to stay on the phone. He slurred, "hello," and the call would drop. The fifth time he called he stayed on. I asked him what was going on and why the call kept dropping? He said, "I was going through the tunnel." I said, are you driving? "Yeah, he said, under the bridge." I asked, are you drunk? He said, "yeah." A few mumbles later, I asked, are you at home? He said, "yeah."

OK - (He couldn't have been on the Bay bridge in the previous calls and been at home on the current one...)

So, I told him we couldn't talk if he was drunk and he agreed. But, he had to add, "you drive me crazy - you drive me fucking crazy."

OH BOY

I got off of the phone. This poor boy is crazy - and it has nothing to do with me. Good to know. Thank God! Another crisis averted by my sister spirit - guardian angel.

Do you know the way to San Jose?

Ok...now that I know 'how' I got here, can anyone give me directions out?

A man once asked the question, "who the hell left the gate open"? I don't know 'who' but I know where they all went.....FRESNO!

But seriously, I had the awesome opportunity to see Tyler Perry's new play tonight....IN FRESNO! We are now on the map. I guess it has to do with that college world series thing??? Since then, we've had Jay-Z and now Tyler. This is only Tyler's 2nd week out with this play (Madea's Big Happy Family)...less than 1 month since his mother passed away. I tell ya...the man is funny. Madea is ridiculous....and so is Fresno!

No...nothing bad happened. It was actually quite pleasant. It's just weird. Everybody knows each other. Well....everybody except me. Again...One of these things just doesn't belong here....Tell me, can you guess which one! Yup! You guessed right...ME!

While everyone greeted each other, I looked around and saw that they were all somewhat happy with their outing on a Tuesday night in Fresno. They actually almost filled the entire theater (Fresno is only 9% black, so that was a feat), everyone got along, no drama. So why am I upset? I think I miss drama!?!?

I miss the Paramount Theater, where if you get in front of the wrong person in the line to the parking lot, there could be a car fight. I miss the groups of gum-poppin 20 somethings walking in to the theater with all their stolen garb on, only to have someone walk in with the identical outfit. I miss little ol lady ushers in their St. John district uniforms, showing me down the isle. I miss beauty of the Paramount Theater.

Fresno is like a big suburb...I think that is my problem. That theater we were in (I can't remember the name...gotta look at the ticket) is the same place where the circus performed in the summer. Right next door is the convention center and the Soroyan Theater, where the opera plays. Why not there???? Why did Tyler have to play where they lifted the big top? Theater appearance: UGLY!

Next -- the people. They were nice...really...they were. But man---it was like a high school reunion. Everybody knows each other. Its like Mayberry. Worse yet, I overheard a conversation between two couples where they went down the line and mentioned about 8 people that had swapped spouses in a number of different combinations. I felt sick to my stomach...I thought, "what have I done"? I don't fit in here.... I'm not related to anyone, therefore, I am not marketable! I would be like starting fresh, and we could not have that! At least, not according to those 4 people that were talking.

It just lets me further know that I've got to either merge into traffic here, or get on the road and get out of here. I am afraid to do either. If I stay, will I become, "one of them"? If I leave, will I just keep running and searching?

Oh Oracle of Love...please show me the way...please give me the answer. (that means you ladies!)

Till later

T

Actually Dating!

Well, I've read Tray's post and have to add something. I have two guys that I am dating along with my steady date, who is happily self-trapped in a ridiculous marriage, and not about to get out.

Date #1: Two years younger man who I know from a past crew that included my ex. Very interesting, 38 year old with his own small business, sweet, kind, great politics, smart, funny, into me and broke. Dammit! Kind of a deal breaker. I am broke and trying to make the trek out of broke valley into have-some-money-mountain. I really need a partner who has this together. I can bring everything else...He is really cool though and there is chemistry. I don't know what to do, cause he would make a great boyfriend except for the money thing...

Date #2: First date last night. 51 year old from Napa. Pretty cool from what I know so far. Works for the city and at a winery, is a community theater actor as well. We have a bunch in common and had a good date last night. But he also is not financially set. Dammit. I don't know where this would go anyway, but it seems he's only fit for hanging out with.

So, it is back to the drawing board. The positive here is that it has made "steady-boy" very attentive and concerned and on his game that I am dating. No secrets between us and he is reacting better than I thought. He just had me take out my calendar and put a few weekend dates out there to make sure he doesn't lose them - hah!

Oh, I found both date#1 and date#2 on match.com.

How did I get here?

If you had asked me 20 years ago that I would be the one; I would be the woman -- "that woman"-- that's 42 years old and man-less.

20 years ago, I was a hot lil' number. I had my choice of men. Of course, at that time, I didn't really care much that they were not so savory, but there was a slew of them. And they kept comin'....like buses. Hell...It was like that just 2 years ago. Now...Nothin! What the hell is going on???

In the last year, I have dated (if you really want to call it that) the full monty of men:

• The Granola/Bike/Ex-Thuggy Chef Dude (I still like him...he takes his ghetto superstar status seriously---LMAO!)
• The I'm the King of Cowtown (a.k.a. Fresno) I got a little money and I am so proud of myself I could burst. I am so boring and full of myself that I can't hold on to a woman but that's because I shouldn't have to. All the women in Fresno know me and love me because they think I'm a good catch so why should I really attempt court a woman Guy.
• The Bitter Nice-Guys-Finish-Last Poster Child
• The Baby-Booming-Barber from Hik-town USA ( And by the way, I'm married, living separately, but not legally separated. But I still love you guy... *I still think I should call Thuggy Chef to get Da-Da and dem after this guy*
• The Married Republican (who just happens to be my first boyfriend in life- we were 10 yrs old)
• The I-think-I'll-attempt-to-date-someone-my-own-age-for-a-change guy
• The I-think-I'll-date-within-my-race-and-throw-the-fuzzy-headed-bad-ass-young-kids-at-this-woman-that's-a-grandmother guy. And by the way...I'm still married but I'm not gonna tell her.
• The I love you even though we only met on the INTERNET and I have never laid eyes on you.

I don't even think I have captured all of them but those are the most significant. With that said...what a bunch! Is this the best I can come up with? Obviously, I am fishing in the wrong pond. What's that you say? There's only one pond and it's contaminated? Yeah...I think you're right.

I have now thrown all caution to the wind and have decided to get on Match.com or something of that nature. Blackpeoplemeet.com....Hell...I may go on the prison dating site, because I tell ya. This sucks!

This past new year's eve, I found out just how much it sucked. I have never wanted to have someone to call my own as much as I did a couple days ago. I guess because it is so boring here and everyone is coupled up. I just feel so out of place. Where just last year, I was so happy with the freedom that being single brought me; this year...not so much. I have had a full year of Cow-Town and boy...what a difference a day makes!

Someone please tell me that this dry spell of men and this incomplete feeling will pass shortly. I gotta get back in the game. I gotta merge into traffic.

Ladies----Is it just me or are all of the men over 35 contaminated and/or damaged goods?